Welcome! I am Debbie Mirza


I am a coach and author who works with people coming out of relationships with covert narcissists.

After spending years working on my own clarity and healing after realizing I had been in relationships with different types of covert narcissists I decided to write a book about this incredibly confusing and crazy making form of narcissism to help others be able to see clearly. That book is called The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing after Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse, and is now available on Amazon.

I have also written an incredibly loving and nurturing book to help with the healing process called The Safest Place Possible: Becoming Who You are Meant to Be. There is also a workbook with 21 exercises to help you restore the relationship with yourself.

I believe in our body’s ability to heal and my mission is to create products and events to help with that process.

 I also create music and guided meditations that help heal and restore. You will find these on this website too. May they bring you calm and reassurance as you walk this path to wholeness.

 Enjoy exploring this website. You will find many resources that will help guide you back to your beautiful, whole self.



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The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful book on the topic of covert narcissism.

This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused.

“This book is the light in the tunnel for anyone who's been down the crazy-making path of a relationship with a covert narcissist.” - Amazon Review 

“This. Book. Changed my life.” – Amazon Review

“I can’t put this book down.” – Amazon Review

“If I could give this book 1 million stars I would. This book will answer your question; is the individual in my life that is causing me so much confusion and pain Narcissistic?”  - Amazon Review

 “After reading this book, I felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from my chest. Finally, a book that can alleviate your fears of feeling crazy or misunderstood. Nothing I’ve read has so accurately nailed it for me.” – Amazon Review 



Narrated by Debbie Mirza 

This is a must "hear" for anyone that ever was or is in a relationship with a Covert Narcissist. Hearing this was like listening to my life with my e-wife, my Covert Narcissist. Thank you Debbie for writing this book. Your narration was truly great!” - Audible Review

“I’ve read several books on narcissism and personality disorders searching for answers as to what happened with my marriage and to explain my CN ex-husband. While they were all helpful, none of these books explained my situation precisely until I read this book. It hit the nail on the head - exactly. I couldn’t have described it better myself. I now can put my finger on it and just being able to define him has helped me tremendously. Thank you, Debbie. This book is exactly what I needed.” - Audible Review



Traducción al español ya disponible.

El narcisista agresivo pasivo secreto: encontrar la curación después del abuso emocional y psicológico oculto es el libro más completo y útil sobre el tema del narcisismo encubierto. Este tipo de narcisismo es una de las formas más dañinas porque el abuso es muy oculto y tan insidioso. Puede estar en una relación que puede durar décadas y no darse cuenta de que está siendo controlado, manipulado y abusado psicológicamente y emocionalmente.


Now available on audio! Click here for the audio version.

The Safest Place Possible is a journey of healing through self-love.

This book is both a memoir as well as a helpful guide for your own transformation.

If you have lost yourself in an unhealthy relationship and want to find your way back to who you really are, if you have had the rug pulled out from under you, if you are experiencing anxiety and fear, if you are unsure of your future, this is the book for you.

Debbie takes you through her own vulnerable journey of healing and restoration.

 The book gives 21 practical exercises to use that will help you heal and change your life. They will gently guide you to a new way of being with yourself.

 You will feel loved and held as you make your way back to who you were meant to be.

“I've read a lot of books on how to live a life of joy and peace, but this book surprised me. It is not a "how to be happy in 5 easy steps" manual. It is about how to come back to peace again and again in the middle of a REAL life. The author lets us into her own life in such a vulnerable way while filling each chapter with such depth. It truly felt like I was being given secret life lessons from a wise friend ahead of me in the journey.” – Amazon Review

“This book is a beautiful gift -- the author's stories WILL change you from the inside out. When I began reading, I was so struck by the kindness and the love in the author's words, like she was in the room with me, talking to me with such love. You will, too. This book will give you guidance and permission to be more loving and compassionate with yourself - to honor your emotions and to trust yourself deeply.” - Amazon Review

“Made me Laugh and cry and heal! If in doubt please get it. Worth every dollar and more.” - Amazon Review

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This companion workbook has all the exercises Debbie talks about in her book, The Safest Place Possible. It is a great way to apply the things she talked about to your own life, so you can heal and transform the relationship you have with yourself. 

It is also a helpful guide for book clubs and meet up support groups.

“Love Debbie's way of speaking and guiding you with love, compassion and understanding.” - Amazon Review

“I love this! Was just what I needed! Worth the few extra dollars to keep you thinking and working on yourself!” - Amazon Review





If you are looking for music to help bring calm and peace to your life, if you want to feel loved and soothed after experiencing a lot of hurt and pain in your life, this is the music for you.

These songs have a transcendent and healing quality about them that bring peace and reassurance. The lyrics and meditative angelic sounds soothe the soul as well as uplift and encourage the spirit.



Guided meditations are a really effective tool for healing, experiencing peace and receiving guidance.

With a guided meditation you don’t have to be the one trying to quiet your mind. You are guided to a place where it is easy to relax and tap into your subconscious mind. These meditations make use of symbolic imagery so you are able to connect with the deeper levels of your mind in an effort to encourage profound healing and personal development breakthroughs.

When you have experienced trauma, which most of us have, your nervous system has been affected and needs things to help it relax. This is a great way to do that.

Debbie has created a few different types of meditations to address different needs you might have in your life.



When Debbie was looking for her own answers about covert narcissism, YouTube was a helpful place. She decided to create her own channel to help shed light on this incredibly confusing and damaging form of narcissism.


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Debbie works with people who are coming out of relationships with covert narcissists.

She helps women and men heal from the trauma they have experienced and are often still experiencing from an ex-spouse, friend, a parent, or a romantic partner.

Debbie has experienced covert narcissists in her life. She gets it. Using her own knowledge and experience with healing trauma she is passionate about seeing others find freedom, love and clarity after years of subtle manipulation and psychological abuse…