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To purchase Debbie's book, click here.


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"This book is the light in the tunnel for anyone who's been down the crazy-making path of a relationship with a covert narcissist.

In all my months and years of research as I struggled to understand why I felt so crazy and terrible in my relationship, losing all sense of my identity and self-esteem, never did I find a resource that so clearly and compassionately helped me to understand what was really happening.

My eyes were wide open as I read this book from cover to cover in my first reading (and it was probably past midnight!!) I just couldn't put this down - because for years, I truly felt alone and crazy, with so much dysfunction projected onto me. And even though I had researched covert narcissism before, it wasn't until this book that I truly understood that these patterns are real, many others have experienced this, and there is a clear path to healing.

This book has been a vital resource for me, as Debbie has so clearly laid out the dynamics at play and shared a multitude of real stories and experiences from people who have gone through similar types of relationships. This is by far the best resource I've found for truly understanding the process of the relationship, traits of the cover narc, and psychology behind the experience. While I kept running into self-doubt before, now I have too much clarity to ever go back near that madness – and I'm now able to recognize these traits in other relationships in my life, and course-correct before falling down the rabbit hole.

Debbie writes with a loving, incredibly knowledgeable, and non-judgmental voice that has guided me out of the dark, through the light of understanding and into the process of finally fully healing. Will be keeping this book on hand through my own healing process, and recommending to others who have been involved with similar types of people."

- Kristen
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"Debbie’s book is a must read for someone who has been harmed in a relationship with a passive aggressive covert narcissist.

Being in a relationship with this kind of narcissist is a confusing, debilitating experience. One can spend decades trying to make sense of the situation and understand how it continues to effect them in the present: a deep sense that something is wrong with them, a feeling that they don’t matter and the formation of an identity around devaluing themselves.

For someone who has woken up to the fact that something is off, this book is the shortcut to understanding the dynamics at play. It is packed with information that allows a target of narcissistic abuse to identify and name what exactly has been going on so the healing can begin. For someone who has experienced a relationship with a covert narcissist, this book is pure gold. Confusing behavior is distilled down into concise truth statements that light the way forward.

In this book Debbie is the wise, understanding friend who sits with you and shows you the reality of what is going on—the reality your empathy has blinded you to. She helps you see that what you thought was love, was really abuse and that you are worthy of so much more. She talks right to your heart. Through her loving and kind words she opens up the possibility that you too can talk truth to your own heart and heal from this wounding experience, emerging stronger than before."

- Kathryn
"As a mental health professional, I have been looking for a book to offer my clients who have a narcissist in their life. Many of the books I have explored are essentially someone venting their own story and offering little depth and research. This book is different. It sheds light on one of the most complicated and misunderstood types of narcissistic personality disorder - covert narcissism. The author presents well-researched information in a readable and easy-to-understand format, while offering compassion and hope to those struggling to understand their own relationship with a narcissist. The many personal stories from people in different types of relationships with a covert narcissist provide insight into the confusion and pain that many of my clients have experienced. I highly recommend this book for those dealing with the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist and for mental health professionals who wish to expand their knowledge of this personality disorder."

- PamB
"This book is exactly what I needed. It gives such insight into the hidden abuse “covert” that is so hard to explain to others, but traumatizing nonetheless. If you even suspect there is a narcissist in your life, begin with this book. Not only will you have a greater understanding of the relationship you’re in, you’ll no longer feel crazy and misunderstood. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to trust yourself and your own instincts again, which is priceless."

- Crystal
"This is a very well written book! Easy to read but full of information, this book gives many examples of what others have been going through.
I like that it explains a lot of things really well, so it gives you full picture of what a narcissist is truly capable of.
I highly recommended it!"

-Gavin L. Atkin
"I loved this book! There was a lot I could resonate with...I especially found the whole discussion about how being victimized - as if by a violent criminal - but don't have to become victims. After experiencing several covert narcissistic relationships, being able to admit that as truth was very freeing, since I have avoided admitting that to myself let alone others. I have been so afraid of falling into, or being perceived as having a "victim mentality," that I've pushed the idea far away. But that has only produced cognitive dissonance and confusion. This book helped me free myself of that part, and much more."

IVY929
"This turned out to be a really helpful book! The introduction drew me in. I found it easy to read and packed with information. You can tell the author has done her research. There are so many books on narcissism, but I have never come across a book like this that sheds light on the covert type. All the traits are explained and illustrated so well. This is a book that will make you feel understood, validated, informed, and hopeful. You can tell the author really gets it. If you are looking for answers to this incredibly confusing topic, I highly recommend this book. I couldn't put it down!"

- Musical Mom
"Covert Narcissists do harm under the cover of “plausible deniability.” This book pulls back the curtain and exposes the subtle strings and pulleys the manipulator uses to drive you to distraction—if not right to crazy town.
Delivered with constant encouragement, and the wisdom of someone who has extracted herself from the distortion field, the reader can feel safe knowing there are better days ahead."

- Mo Atkin
"I can’t put this book down. I married and dated a covert narcissist. No one has ever explained it like this, I love the real stories! I am finding ah ha moments in so many of these examples. I am loving her explanation of what is really going on.
Thank you from the victims of narcissistic abuse we needed this book"

- Tracy Malone